


DeVours the Mind

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, First Time, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-01
Updated: 2008-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8825194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jared watches DeVour and it's all down hill from there.Happy ending, with a twist.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

'*'

 

DeVours the Mind

 

'*'

 

Jared was going insane. There was no other way to look at it. 

 

For the past three weeks he had been slowly losing his mind. It started with nightmares, they'd gotten so bad that he stopped sleeping, hoping that they would just go away. That brought on the waking nightmares as he'd heard it put so well. He pulled in a shaky breath, his eyes never stopped moving, looking everywhere and no where at once. 

 

He pulled open his laptop and clicked on the internet icon, it opened immediately and he typed in the website address that he had committed to memory. It loaded and he growled, snapping the laptop shut. This wasn't healthy. Jensen would hate him if he knew.

 

He walked from his desk and sat down on the edge of the couch pulling on a pair of shoes. He slipped into his coat and slipped out of the house. He walked down the street to the small twenty-four hour convenient store and waited for the clerk. As he walked back to the house, he stuffed his hands into his pocket. He shuffled up the drive way and let himself in, slowly opening the door and slipped his key in the door, unlocking it. As he stepped into the hall way, he heard nothing but the sound of his own heart.

 

He leaned against the once again locked door, staring up at the door of the down stairs. He and Jensen were renting a double together, and Jared knew that just beyond that door... He groaned and slowly made his way up to his bedroom. He sank onto the bed, pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and smacking it against his leg.

 

His eyes roamed the room, eyes wide and unblinking. He unwrapped the pack of cigarettes and pulled one out, placing it between his lips. He grabbed the Zippo he'd snagged from set and lit the cigarette, inhaling deeply. 

 

Jensen would kill him if he knew. That was one thing Jared was pretty sure of. Every time Jensen had lit a cigarette while in Jared's company, he would lock eyes with him and he would say, “Don't smoke.” Jared had always laughed, thinking that _that_ would never be a problem.

 

God, he should have listened to Jensen. He always should have.

 

Jensen told him not to smoke, Jensen told him not to wait until last minute to make sure he knew his lines, Jensen told him Sandy wasn't good enough for him (granted, he was drunk as all hell when he'd said so; they both were), Jensen had told him not to watch that movie.

 

That god forsaken movie. Jared took another drag, hoping it would block it out of his mind.

 

It was that movie that sent him spiraling towards insanity.

 

Jensen didn't want him to watch the movie because he was embarrassed by it, not because it was bad or anything. It was much like Gilmore girls for Jared. That show was amazing, and he was proud of the job he'd done, but he sure as hell didn't want Jensen hunkering down and watching him. But the opportunity had come up for Jared to see the movie and he'd made the mistake of watching it.

 

The second he'd heard “Jake” having sex... He'd lost his mind. That was the only explanation. He'd gone to the video rental place and told them that he'd lost it, paying the fee and the going home and watching that scene again.

 

He was sure that Jensen didn't sound like that anymore, his voice was deeper now... A more rugged feeling to it now. He'd gone to sleep that night hearing the grunts and whimpers of Jensen having sex in his ears. The next night, that was when the nightmares had started. 

 

Night after night he'd dream about Jensen having sex. With some one else. And then... Oh, god. Jared closed his eyes and pulled a drag deep into his lugs, relishing the burn. He exhaled and flicked the ash into an empty red bull can. He ran his empty hand through his hair and closed his eyes.

 

It had gotten worse when he's started dreaming about having Jensen making those noise while they fucked... And hell, yeah; that was when Jared stopped sleeping.

 

That was possibly the worst decision _ever_. 

 

Not soon after he'd be in the middle of a normal situation and all of a sudden, there would be Jensen saying or doing something naughty and just before they actually started fucking he'd be pulled out of it.

 

Like the first time, it was the first day he'd gone to work without sleeping, and he and Jensen were in the makeup trailer, alone for whatever reason when all of a sudden-

 

_”You okay, Jared?” Jensen asked, climbing from his chair and moving closer to Jared._

_“What? Ye- Yeah... Why?” Jared flushed under the bright vanity lights._

_“You look a little tired,” Jensen leaned close to Jared, a hand on either side of his head._

_“Wh- What are you doing there, Jensen?” Jared heard himself slipping back into his lazy Texas accent._

_Jensen swung his leg over Jared's, straddling him. Jared's hands immediately pulled Jensen closer, holding him in place. “I think you know what I'm doing, Jared...” Jensen said, his voice low and gravelly. And then he'd rocked his hips against Jared's, pulling him into a kiss that was teeth and tongue and lust and-_ Oh, God.

 

That's when Jared had snapped out of it. He'd brushed off Jensen's questions as well as he could with out being honest and escaped to his trailer for a moment to breathe.

 

Jared stubbed out the cigarette and left the butt smoking in the can while he lit another. 

 

There were so many times like that...

 

At the mess tent, when they'd been talking and then- _Jensen had dipped his finger in pudding and smeared it across Jared's lower lips before wiggling the digit all across his tongue. Pulling it out only so that he could lean close and lick the pudding off his lower lip before kissing him deeply, his hands slipping to his ass and -_ Jared had dropped his tray like it was on fire and walked away, ignore Jensen's confused shouts from behind him.

 

Or the time they'd been playing PS2 and all of a sudden _Jensen paused it, and pulled Jared's hand-set from him, setting on his quickly vacated seat so that he could push Jared against a very well placed tree and drop to his knees, hands running up Jared's thighs before-_ Jared switched off his system, declared Jen the winner and walked away, stuffing head phones in his ears so he could ignore the pounding of his heart.

 

Jared stubbed out the barely smoked cigarette and lay back on his bed. It was so much easier when he could just talk to Jen without searching for the sub-context. He'd started doing that when he'd looked up some aptly named Wincest stories on-line.

 

He and Jensen (As well as _everyone_ on the crew) knew about the stories out there about Sam and Dean... But Jared had never actually read any of them. He'd thought that maybe they would help get rid of his fascination.

 

He'd read one that had a link to a Supernatural RPF site. Not knowing what RPF was, he'd clicked the link.

 

Storied dedicated to Jensen and himself as they were, really were... No characters attached. Jared had read the reasoning behind it. Apparently, some people were “squiked” by the incest factor in Wincest; but thought that maybe the under lying tension that came across so easily in the show was actually the actor's feelings coming across on screen.

 

Jared quickly became obsessed with the stories. Reading them at every possible moment. Saving them and copying them to his iPod so he could read them on set without having to carry his laptop or worry about some one reading them over his shoulder. 

 

Reading them had helped for a while. When he was reading them, he wasn't talking to Jensen or drifting into a dirty mind frame, the words put him in one and since the stories were -generally- about mutual attraction he didn't feel dirty reading them, thinking like that...

 

Jared sat up and grabbed his phone, scrolling through the numbers; knowing that there was only one person he could talk to. He'd never taken the offer “Hey, you ever need to talk, I'm here” before, and really hoped that it was a genuine offer...

 

It rang, too late to back out now.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Sera?” Jared asked. She'd answered softly, not like she'd just woken up, more like someone else was there and she didn't want to disturb them.

 

“Jared, hi. What's wrong?”

 

“I... I need to talk to someone. Can... Do you mind if I come over? I don't want to interrupt anything.”

 

“You wouldn't be interrupting a thing. Another friend needed someone tonight, too; but we're done. He's asleep now, so just come on over.”

 

“Are you sure-?”

 

“See you in a bit.” Sera hung up, and Jared had to smile a little. She was a hell of a lady. And not one you wanted to cross, he thought, quickly sitting up and pulling on his jacket.

 

Before he knew it, he was pulling into the gravel drive way and walking up to the front door. Sera opened it almost before he had time to knock.

 

“Hey, you want something to drink?”

 

Jared shook his head minutely and stepped inside, leaving his shoes on the mat. He lay down on the couch next to her, laying his head on her leg. “Oh, sweetie... What's wrong?” she asked, and Jared's mouth opened, words pouring from him.

 

“I don't know when it happened, I mean... I fell in lust with him after seeing that damn movie-”

 

“When he has sex on the computer chair?”

 

“Yeah,” Jared sighed. “But... After that... I don't know... I just... I fell in love with him.” He shut his eyes, falling silent as Sera started to run her hand through his hair soothingly. “God, what am I going to do?”

 

“You really want my advice?”

 

“Yes, please,” he said quietly, and her hand stilled for a moment before going back to play with his hair.

 

“Well, since I can only go with what you've told me about it-”

 

“Sera.” Jared's eyes snapped open. He hadn't said that. But some one had.

 

Some one had interrupted her.

 

“I think I'll take it from here.” He knew that voice almost as well as he knew his own.

 

“Okay,” Sera murmured quietly, slipping of the couch and pressing a kiss to her fingers and then laying her fingers on Jared's forehead.

 

Jared lay there, not wanting to move, not wanting to break the moment, not daring to hope. Jensen moved into his line of site and Jared sat up, not saying a word, not trusting his voice. Jensen held out his hands, “Come on.”

 

“Where are we going?” Jared whispered.

 

“To bed,” Jensen said simply, and Jared took the offered hand, staring at them as they joined. He slowly stood up and then he locked eyes with Jensen as he led him to Sera's spare bedroom, walking backwards so that they could just look at each other. 

 

Jensen dropped his hands after he pulled Jared into the room, closing the door, the darkness slamming into him.

 

Jared wrapped his arms instinctively around Jensen's trim waist as he stepped foreword. Jensen pressed their lips together and Jared could swear he was falling. He sank on to the bed a moment later, his legs unable to hold him. Jensen knelt above him, a knee on either side. They kissed again, and Jared was sure if he open his eyes he would see literal sparks flying in the dark. When they broke apart, they moved simultaneously, shuffling back until their heads were on the pillow and just kissing until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

 

~~~

 

REH! REH! REH! Jared sighed, leaving his eyes closed as his alarm clock woke him. He heard the sound of movement and the clock shut off, a crashing sound came a moment later. He stayed in that place between asleep and awake, no bad dreams had come last night. He relished the feeling.

 

After what could have been a lifetime or a moment, Jared heard voices and he sighed, waking himself up.

 

He sat up and stretched. 

 

“Morning, Sleepy Head.” Sera said quietly, stepping into the room.

 

“Hey, thanks for letting me come over and talk... I had this awesome dream last night. I dreamed that I came over and...” Jared trailed off, noticing the broken alarm clock on the ground near the door and the rumpled bedding next to him. He looked up at Sera's guilty face. “He was really here?” She shut her eyes and didn't answer. “Sera?”

 

“He...” Her voice was so soft he had to strain to hear it. “He asked me not to tell you.”

 

“Dammit,” Jared swore, swinging his feet to the floor.

 

“Jared-”

 

“I have to go,” he said, brushing past her.

 

“Jared-”

 

“I have to go!” He repeated, louder this time. He shoved his feet into his shoes and practically ran from the house, leaving the front door open. Who ever said it that it was better to have loved and lost had obviously not loved and lost Jensen Ackles.

 

When he got to the set, Jensen was distant. He wouldn't speak to Jared, and he kept making sure they weren't alone together. But he made a mistake and sat with Sera at lunch. 

 

“What is wrong with you? If you regret it, tell me. If you want to pretend it didn't happen, fine. Just send out a damn memo next time,” Jared hissed, sitting down across from him.

 

“You told him? I told you not to tell him!” Jensen whisper yelled at Sera.

 

“She didn't say anything, don't get mad at her. This is between me and you.” Jared said, before Sera could say a word.

 

Jensen glared at Sera again and stood up, walking away.

 

Jared growled, stood up, and let him take five steps before he grabbed Jensen's arm. Jensen's momentum spun him on his heel and he found himself pressed against Jared's chest. Jared lowered his head, pressing their lips together.

 

Jared prayed that Jensen was just running scared, prayed that this would show that he wasn't scared, that he didn't regret it, that he wouldn't... He felt Jensen resist for a split second and then he felt calloused hands in his hair, tangling it around long fingers as Jensen deepened the kiss.

 

Jared felt his knees quake and he wrapped his arms tightly around Jensen's waist, his hands fisting in the material that made up his jacket as he pressed them together from head to toe. 

 

He pulled back a moment later, sucking in oxygen and he pressed their foreheads together, not wanting to let go just yet.

 

“I have to apologize to Sera,” Jensen murmured, breathing hard.

 

“Yes,” Jared heard himself say, not bothering to open his eyes, still unwilling to let go.

 

“Later's good, too,” Jensen whispered.

 

“Yes,” Jared agreed, kissing the wondrous man before him again. Later, like once he could let go of Jensen and not fall over. Once he knew that Jensen would be coming back to him... Would always come back to him... Would never willingly leave.

 

\---

 

Jensen saved his latest story, uploading to the internet and looked up when he heard his trailer door open. 

 

“Hey, we need you on set, man.”

 

Jensen nodded at his co-star, and closed the laptop with a soft _snikt!_ walking out to meet him. “Sandy coming up today?”

 

Jared nodded with a huge smile, “She's getting in at three.”

 

Jensen nodded and smiled back. “That's great, Jay,” he said, and let himself fall a few steps behind. _When the best character you play, is yourself..._

 

“You coming?” Jared asked.

 

_You know you're screwed._ “Yeah,” Jensen said with another smile.


End file.
